Make It Stop!

How to make your grad student stop talking about their thesis

A Guide for Friends and Family

As a companion piece to the previous post, 'How do you converse with a grad student?', today I give you a short guide on tactics to make your grad student for the love of all that is holy stop talking about their damn thesis.

I am guilty of this. My brother and my best friend both have waved the white flag at some point and begged me to stop nattering on about the 1349 Statute of Labourers or Skeat's manuscript transmission schematic of Beues of Hamtoun. As one doctorate student wrote, "Who'd have thought that singular devotion to one idea for a span of years would result in a declining ability to relate to everything else in the world that isn't that one idea? Crazy, right?"

So, here is a list of (kind) ways to get your grad student to talk about something else -- anything else, please -- without just cutting them off and giving them a gag order on the subject they love (and sometimes hate).

1. The 'Wrap It Up'. When they've been monologuing long enough that you have begun aging in dog years.

"Okay, you're losing me. Can you finish your point in a couple sentences?"

2. The 'Head Them Off at the Pass'. When they get that gleam in their eye and take a deep breath and you know they are about to launch into a detailed explanation you don't want to hear.

"Wait, before you start: can you give it to me in three to five sentences?"

Okay, 1 and 2 are basically the same, but the "sum it up in three sentences" approach is my favorite. It lets me finish my point and you get to change the subject in short order; everyone wins.

3. The 'I'll Settle for a Slow-Down', aka The Yellow Light. When what they were saying started off really interesting, and you did want to know about it, but now they're waist-deep in a bog of details and are throwing around phrases like 'urtext edition' and 'strontium isotope analysis':

"I need you to dial it back a bit. Give me the outline of your idea."

4. The Diversion. When you just can't handle one more history lesson.

"Hey, have you seen the latest Game of Thrones episode*?"

Works every time.

*As before, this can be substituted with any recently popular book, film, or TV series.